Nov 1, 2020AuntyOn a Tuesday in February of 2019, I was in a meeting when I got the text. Less than an hour later, I was in the burning Lagos sun, guiding a labourer, with a mattress on his head, because no Uber wants a six by six strapped to the roof…Cancer10 min readCancer10 min read
Dec 31, 2018I feel oldAnd I might be dying. — “Fu’ad, some days, you’re 35 years old,” Eniola said some weeks ago. “Other days, you’re 12.” Today, I’m 27. December 31st 2017. My 2018 game plan was clear; jump more — that kind where you jump off a cliff and figure out the parachute thing on your way down. I…Life6 min readLife6 min read
May 27, 2018An Evening at the Barber’sAll these months of trying to get a decent cut, and I still can’t tell if I visit the barber once or twice every month. “Chairman,” he’s smiling at me as I enter and I know it’s not because I have a special head. Gbenga’s the go-to guy. Every time…Nonfiction4 min readNonfiction4 min read
Apr 21, 2018“I voted for Leo, twice. I really like him”Disclaimer: This is just a train of thought. — Those aren’t my words. It’s one of those weekday nights in Surulere where you’re too lazy to cook. So you just step out of your house, cross a busy street, and buy rice. It’s one of those one-table-can-make-a-restaurant stands by the road, just a few inches from the gutter. 3…Nigeria5 min readNigeria5 min read
Apr 4, 2018A Lesson in SwimmingSome gonzo, and a lot of water. — “Doggy dey?” Everyone I asked just pointed to the water. It’s like walking into a joint, and asking about that one person, and everyone just knows exactly where they’d be. Oniru Beach is a joint too. It’s not like other beaches. The distant music is louder than the waves here…Short Story8 min readShort Story8 min read
Dec 31, 2017What’s it called when you always feel like jumping?A year in jumping. — Thought is an incredible thing.20175 min read20175 min read
Published inPulse Nigeria·Feb 4, 2017Son of The RoadIt’s past three in the morning, and cold And I’m lying on the road, At the mercy of armed hooded men, ready to offload, This is not a cute poem, or a poem at all. This is me getting robbed. It’s March of 2010, and Sagamu-Ore Highway is not a…Life4 min readLife4 min read
Jan 29, 2017How To Write Life Into Dead PeopleIt’s another day. There are many sad emojis on your timeline. Someone has died. Someone young enough to have an internet life. So you’re curious, or sober, but mostly curious than sober, because you’ve seen many deaths. You find his Twitter, see the kinds of things he tweeted. …Death3 min readDeath3 min read
Published inDanfomatic·Dec 23, 2016Is There A Name For What I Have?You know when little light enters a dark room, and right in the line of fire are those specks of dust, scampering for cover, or for light in all directions. GoodMan™ likes to describe my life like this — spontaneous, full of energy, all over the place. …Stories4 min readStories4 min read
Published inDanfomatic·Dec 22, 2016Lagos and America are Birds of the Same ArroganceSecondary School geography says America is the name of two continents, North and South America. In real life, it’s the United States of America. We know Lagos is doing fine, compared to the rest of Nigeria. The GDP of Lagos alone is Kenya’s sugar daddy goals. We are the rich…Nigeria3 min readNigeria3 min read
